Well I had big plans today! I was going to write and work on my presentation for next week’s workshop, but I didn’t. I slept until 8am, although I didn’t get out of bed until 10am. I wish I could say that I spent the two hours just communing with the Lord, but I didn’t. Today has been a day of sweet reflection and restful thoughts. I haven’t been actively praying, but I’ve been prayerful. I can’t really explain what today is or what I felt when I awoke this morning. Not sadness or happiness, not anything really.
I got out of bed and made my way to the couch, where I sat for another hour. I picked up one of the many books that I’ve yet to finish and read a few chapters. Nothing earth shattering or life changing came from the experience. Then I migrated to the computer, where I read my email, checked today’s news headlines and sent a tweet or two to Twitter.
Two hours later, I felt my stomach complain for lack of food, so I ordered Chinese food. I sorted through the weeks “snail” mail while I waited for the food to be delivered. Thirty minutes later, when the food arrived, I decided to watch a movie. I remembered that I still had my mother’s copy of Mama Mia. I settled back on my comfy couch, ate my favorite Chinese food and mindlessly watched the television set.
Ninety-five minutes later, I cleaned up the living room and washed the dishes, all as I hummed ABBA songs. I noticed the kitchen clock on the wall. “It’s almost 3:30pm and I’ve yet to really do anything!” As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I pushed it away. Not because I felt guilty, because honestly I felt nothing. I was sort of apathetic, which is the complete opposite of my personality. If anything, I’m usually focused on a hundred things, while trying to juggle all those little red balls in the air that someone threw my way.
I decided to play doctor and do a self-evaluation: Feeling Depressed? No! Feeling Unhappy? Nope! Feeling Guilty? Definitely Not! Feeling Stressed? Not in the least! Wait that’s it! I’m not feeling stressed! WOW! I think I’m so used to running at a hundred miles an hour, fighting deadlines and working around time constraints that stress has become a constant companion. An old friend if you will. So today what I’ve been feeling is what? Relaxation? And then it hits me, this is the first Saturday that I’ve had nothing pressing to do in nearly 6 months. I hadn’t even realized that I was missing this. This nothingness. This timelessness. Today was about moments: small moments of just breathing in my own little corner of the world. Over the last 6 months I’d forgotten what it means to just relax. I could get used to this!
It’s nearly 6pm and I feel content, as I write this message to you. Maybe I’m writing it to myself as well, so that I don’t forget the importance of a day like today. A deep sigh of restfulness fills my body, as I plan my agenda for tonight. As I think about the evening laid out before me I remember that I have laundry to do, a sick friend is waiting for me to attend to his needs, and the lawn should be cut before it gets too dark….
Even as my mind dances around the hundreds of things that need my attention and I start to juggle all those little red balls of other people’s expectations, I feel a little calmer than I normally would. Today was a subtle day of sweet relaxation and I am thankful.
“Be still before the LORD…” Psalm 37:7
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Friday, November 21, 2008
Struggling with Judgments
It is hard not to judge! I struggle with this often. I think of myself as an open-minded person, yet I still find myself judging people. I think the problem is that I'm convinced they deserve my judgment, just as I have taken their judgments over the years. It's the "good for the goose, good for the gander" principal. Right?
I'm so sure of myself and then God sends me a message like this:
“Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself.” Romans 2:1-11 (Paraphrased)
I hear God speaking to me clearly, yet I still resist. Isn't judgment “sometimes” righteous? Again (unhappily) I receive His answer, "Yes, but only when it come from Me!"
This is not the answer I want to hear. I find myself still trying to plead my case:
Don’t we need to scream our objections, until the world is exactly the way it should be? Isn't that how great change has happened? Consider women's suffrage, civil rights and religious freedoms! The docile crusader types like Gandhi didn’t lead all of those fights. There were plenty of David’s riding into battle, screaming their judgments at the top of their lungs.
It’s apparent that my heart and soul aren’t in agreement. I know that God is telling me to follow my soul…and I'm trying!
I love mankind, I do! But at times I hate the way we treat each other. There is one person in particular that continues to come to mind. I’m angry at her selfish actions and I sometimes find myself judging her. At those times, I just hold her in prayer until I feel compassion for her again. I guess that's all any of us can do, when we find ourselves struggling.
“It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.” Psalm 18:32
I know that I’m not strong enough to let my judgments go, and that’s why I have to turn to Jesus. I’m constantly asking God to give me the strength to love as He loves. Yet, everyday I feel as though I’ve failed, and I find myself on my knees once again. Will I ever get this right? Will I ever learn to stop judging?
Today, during my morning prayer, I heard God gently answer, “You can only give what you can receive!”
Wow, I finally got it! I’m having trouble judging others, because I judge myself too harshly. My “self” expectations are frequently disjointed and over enthusiastic. Apparently, I’ve been expecting others to live up to my standards, not God’s. I really didn’t like finding this out about myself.
God had every right to treat me like the jerk I was being, yet He whispered to me sweetly. Again, I’m reminded to treat others as I want to be treated. Thank God He is consistent and doesn’t treat me as I deserve. So, today I made a decision. I’m going to shake off my inner jerk and rejoice in the love of the Lord. As for the judging, I’m trying to leave that to God, even though... it is hard not to judge!
I'm so sure of myself and then God sends me a message like this:
“Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself.” Romans 2:1-11 (Paraphrased)
I hear God speaking to me clearly, yet I still resist. Isn't judgment “sometimes” righteous? Again (unhappily) I receive His answer, "Yes, but only when it come from Me!"
This is not the answer I want to hear. I find myself still trying to plead my case:
Don’t we need to scream our objections, until the world is exactly the way it should be? Isn't that how great change has happened? Consider women's suffrage, civil rights and religious freedoms! The docile crusader types like Gandhi didn’t lead all of those fights. There were plenty of David’s riding into battle, screaming their judgments at the top of their lungs.
It’s apparent that my heart and soul aren’t in agreement. I know that God is telling me to follow my soul…and I'm trying!
I love mankind, I do! But at times I hate the way we treat each other. There is one person in particular that continues to come to mind. I’m angry at her selfish actions and I sometimes find myself judging her. At those times, I just hold her in prayer until I feel compassion for her again. I guess that's all any of us can do, when we find ourselves struggling.
“It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.” Psalm 18:32
I know that I’m not strong enough to let my judgments go, and that’s why I have to turn to Jesus. I’m constantly asking God to give me the strength to love as He loves. Yet, everyday I feel as though I’ve failed, and I find myself on my knees once again. Will I ever get this right? Will I ever learn to stop judging?
Today, during my morning prayer, I heard God gently answer, “You can only give what you can receive!”
Wow, I finally got it! I’m having trouble judging others, because I judge myself too harshly. My “self” expectations are frequently disjointed and over enthusiastic. Apparently, I’ve been expecting others to live up to my standards, not God’s. I really didn’t like finding this out about myself.
God had every right to treat me like the jerk I was being, yet He whispered to me sweetly. Again, I’m reminded to treat others as I want to be treated. Thank God He is consistent and doesn’t treat me as I deserve. So, today I made a decision. I’m going to shake off my inner jerk and rejoice in the love of the Lord. As for the judging, I’m trying to leave that to God, even though... it is hard not to judge!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Media and the Presidential Election
I know the situation in our country seems a bit bleak, but God’s grace is sufficient.
My household and my church were divided over our recent election. (Divided in our opinions, not in our demeanor.) I would say, conservatively, it was a 60/40 split. Most of the church supported McCain, as was the case with my family. This lack of agreement and difference in opinion led to many spirited discussions. Thankfully, for the most part, we were able to maintain our tempers and debate in a respectful manner. I wish I could say the same about the media.
The media’s bias single-handedly whipped this country into a frenzy over the election. With the misinformation and negative spin that the (so called) news agencies fed to the public about both candidates, we’re lucky that we didn’t have rioting in the streets on Tuesday night. If it sounds like I’m exaggerating, let me explain. I’m a media and marketing professional who teaches in a private college specializing in the communication and broadcasting field.
Over the last three months, I had my class analyze three decades of Presidential Political campaigns and the media's coverage. What we found was shocking! There has always been a rivalry between the political parties, but as the media became more entrenched in the electoral process that rift became a gapping, ever widening crevasse. We are no longer living in the days of non-biased reporting by trustworthy news anchors. The importance is on the shock value of a story, not it’s accuracy. The days of Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite are long gone!
My point, as longwinded as it may seem, is simply to say, “don’t believe the hype!” Things may seem bleak, but it is never as bad as the media reports. There is plenty of Good News in this world, but that doesn’t sell, so it is hardly ever reported. God’s grace is sufficient! If we keep our eyes focused on Jesus, His plan will soon be revealed. I really believe that we are moving into change! Maybe not the political change that some have spoken about, but a transformation is coming. As more of us embrace the God with-in us, we will be the change that happens to this world. For years there has been an imbalance! The darkness has outweighed the light, but I believe that is slowly changing. Every day I see people turning away from the worldly to embrace the Godly. We will prevail! We have Jesus! His love abides and His grace is sufficient.
My household and my church were divided over our recent election. (Divided in our opinions, not in our demeanor.) I would say, conservatively, it was a 60/40 split. Most of the church supported McCain, as was the case with my family. This lack of agreement and difference in opinion led to many spirited discussions. Thankfully, for the most part, we were able to maintain our tempers and debate in a respectful manner. I wish I could say the same about the media.
The media’s bias single-handedly whipped this country into a frenzy over the election. With the misinformation and negative spin that the (so called) news agencies fed to the public about both candidates, we’re lucky that we didn’t have rioting in the streets on Tuesday night. If it sounds like I’m exaggerating, let me explain. I’m a media and marketing professional who teaches in a private college specializing in the communication and broadcasting field.
Over the last three months, I had my class analyze three decades of Presidential Political campaigns and the media's coverage. What we found was shocking! There has always been a rivalry between the political parties, but as the media became more entrenched in the electoral process that rift became a gapping, ever widening crevasse. We are no longer living in the days of non-biased reporting by trustworthy news anchors. The importance is on the shock value of a story, not it’s accuracy. The days of Edward R. Murrow and Walter Cronkite are long gone!
My point, as longwinded as it may seem, is simply to say, “don’t believe the hype!” Things may seem bleak, but it is never as bad as the media reports. There is plenty of Good News in this world, but that doesn’t sell, so it is hardly ever reported. God’s grace is sufficient! If we keep our eyes focused on Jesus, His plan will soon be revealed. I really believe that we are moving into change! Maybe not the political change that some have spoken about, but a transformation is coming. As more of us embrace the God with-in us, we will be the change that happens to this world. For years there has been an imbalance! The darkness has outweighed the light, but I believe that is slowly changing. Every day I see people turning away from the worldly to embrace the Godly. We will prevail! We have Jesus! His love abides and His grace is sufficient.
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